OUT OF CONTROL! with columnist Kelly Karius
THIS WEEK'S TOPIC: Mind Your Business!
To be.
or not to be?
To move.
or not to move?
To think.
or not to think?
These are the Questions.
Last week I wrote about the haunted house. Having been told that I think too much, and having taken some time to think about that, got me thinking. (Oh come on, are you really surprised? Really?)
Is there a systematic way to decide what does and doesn’t need to be thought about? Can we evaluate the situations that present themselves to us in ways that let us sit back and enjoy when we should, and think and plan when that strategy is indicated.
Many of us take our same thinking style into each situation, either over-thinking, or under-thinking. Some of us over-think some parts of our lives, and under-think other parts. Imagine the consummate professional who has created the chaotic personal life.
Over-thinking has the potential to paralyze.
We can become consumed by the what if’s, or enamored by too many possibilities. We can see the pros and cons in all of them…but we might not be moving forward and making decisions. Making decisions means we need to leave some possibilities behind! What a difficult thing to do!
Under-thinking might mean rushing to decision too quickly.
“Hey! That sounds good! Let’s go for it!” Impulsive decisions may lead to success, but are more likely to lead to regret.
So back to the idea of looking at this systematically.
Can it be done?
Are there too many outside influences?
Too many variables?
Can we create a flow chart?
Is there an easy way to decide when to engage in strategic thinking, and when to just let go?
- I think this is the primary question: “Is it dangerous?”
- If the answer is no, we’re all done thinking.
If the answer is yes, we’ve got a little further to go. Having established that a situation is potentially dangerous, the next question is, “Where is it dangerous?"
Inside your head or outside? If it’s inside our head, then we’re almost done. Cognitive Therapy, thinking about your thinking, can help you to readjust thoughts and think about situations differently, reducing the fear.
If it’s outside your head, the next questions are:
“What is it?”
“What skills do I have that will let me handle it?”
“What skills do I need to get?”
Answering these questions creates "The Plan".
I received this quote from a friend today, which most of you will probably be familiar with - it always serves as a good reminder when we're answering all those questions!
“Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." - Marianne Williamson
Let your mindful thinking at the right time lead the way!
Kelly Karius is the author of This is Out of Control! A Practical Guide to Managing Life’s Conflicts. She began Karius & Associates in her basement and has grown the business into a office-based firm where she & her staff passionately design & produce webinars, distance learning programs and motivate clients through consultations and life changing seminars that help individuals & businesses build healthier relationships at home & at work.
Learn more about Karius & Associates by visiting their website or call: (306) 728-2075. Email Kelly at: kelly@kariusandassociates.com
November 12, 2008 by Network Abundance Publications
