Dr. LeslieBeth Wish writes The Doctor's Opinion on What's in the News Lately.
This week's topic addresses some of the underlying social and emotional issues related to Black Friday 2008.
- A Crowd of Confusion.
- A Holiday Tragedy.
- A Shopper Mob.
- A Person Doing an Honest Day's Work.
- A Major Media Hype-Bite Forgotten.
Bodies forced their way through the crowd, used their arms like shields and slowed only for seconds when lumps on the floor made them step higher.
Hundreds of feet clamored in unison, as though serving one mind, mowing down a dozen, killing one - those trampled and killed were treated as "annoying lumps" that could cost people a flat screen TV or a $2- DVD of their favorite movie that they just had to have, right away and almost died for it.
Some even skipped Thanksgiving dinner to stand in line until the Wal-Mart in Valley Stream, New York, opened on Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving. Sitting around a family table eating and talking could be done anytime - but a good place in line was hard to find. Later, electronics in hand, they learned one employee was dead - trampled to death by the crowd of anxious shoppers. In a similar situation - what would you have done?
The causes of the tragedy are the unintended consequences of living in a free world, exacerbated by tough economic times. Not too many months back, we still believed that most of us were okay. We carried a few debts - yes, but we were "okay". We deserved the happiness and the promise that working hard would get us somewhere. We could still plan, reach our dreams, have things and buy bling and feel that we were 'somebody'.
Without words, the lethality of the stampede of the Black Friday crowd said “Life’s not fair, I’ve been cheated, deprived, give me, fill me for now - I feel like 'nobody today'.”
The cure is to breathe, look around, clasp the hand next to you and give order to what’s important to you in life. Things? Yes, we actually do need things like mementos of memories, a roof of safety and comfort that says this is me and ours - but just how many things does it take to fulfill that need? We’ve forgotten about people, pride and perspective. We can’t get those with TVs and DVDs.
The evening news now shows ash in Mumbai or an accident on the road. The Black Friday tragedy is old, over. Time for new shock and awe!
But we don’t have to change our private channel just yet.
Before the year ends, try tuning in to these stations:
- Give food to the food bank
- Donate forgotten clothes to the Salvation Army
- Do someone a favor
- Call a friend
- List what you are thankful for
- Forgive yourself for something
- Pick one small thing about yourself that you’ve wanted to change & come up with a plan
- Forgive someone else for something
- Stand firm on something or with someone else
- Remind yourself that you are someone, that you matter
Dr. LeslieBeth Wish is both a psychologist and clinical social worker. She is a nationally recognized and is frequently called upon by major media to provide expert opinion based on her work with families and women. Visit her website and take part in her research project for her next research-based book about the relationship problems and dating patterns of today's strong & successful women.
December 01, 2008 by Network Abundance Publications
